What do you think is the #1 thing we want in life but almost always never get?
Is it a bank account overflowing with money?
A loving and meaningful relationship?
Better physical health?
Or is it waking up each day excited about where your career is going?
What if we told you that your most sought after desires are actually rooted in the same internal desire?
Having more money, a burgeoning career, better relationships, or better health are all desires that we feel will create what we want most in our lives – peace of mind.
And the reason we all want a peace of mind is that inherently, we all want security, social status, and eliminate insecurity or judgment.
However, peace of mind is the one thing everyone wants, but it’s the last thing that most people have.
This is because we think that external things to bring us peace, but the reality is, external things will never create a peace of mind.
Keep reading, and we’ll show you what will.
Why Our Desires Steal Our Peace of Mind
Whatever you are currently having trouble with right now – money, love, health, it is impossible to achieve without peace of mind.
Yes, the truth is, peace of mind comes not from what we have in our external world, it comes from within.
This is because external gratification is fleeting, so relying on external things to give us a peace of mind is actually a fallacy.
Instead of giving us lasting peace, it steals it away and keeps us unhappy instead.
The basic nature of the way our desires work is that we are never satisfied. Once we have something, we get desire more.
For example – let’s say you finally achieved your goal of making 75k a year. You may have been excited and happy at first, but sooner or later, your lifestyle may change, and you are no longer happy, and start desiring 90k, and then 100k.
We are never really truly happy operating this way.
There’s a reason why we hear the phrase “money doesn’t buy happiness”, over and over again.
That is because, oftentimes, the more money you earn, the greater the amount of stress and anxiety that enters your life.
The same principles apply to relationships. No matter how much time and energy you’ve invested into a loved one, there is no certainty but the certainty that it won’t last forever.
So, while it may be important to you to desire bigger and better things in your life, remember to desire it consciously, not compulsively.
If a desire becomes compulsive, then anxiety, depression, and sadness are its natural consequences.
Why Peace of Mind Needs To Come First
Now that you understand the negative effect your desires can have on your peace of mind, you need to know where to look instead.
We heard a wonderful story about this some time ago.
A genie appeared in front of two guys. The first guy asked for 3 wishes – a castle, the most beautiful woman on Earth as his wife and a room full of diamonds. The second guy just asked for a single wish – the ability to remain happy no matter what he has or where he is. The first guy lived his life like a king but he always felt empty, and deeply unhappy inside. The second guy, on the other hand was blissful and happy every moment of his life.
Now, the moral of the story isn’t to live the life of a beggar, it’s to find peace of mind from within.
When you re-examine your priorities and prioritize peace of mind from the inside out, you can we start working towards your desires with the right mindset.
When you have peace of mind, you make better decisions, and better decisions lead to more desirable outcomes.
When we are stressed out or angry about something, we often make terrible decisions that only keeps us unhappy.
But when you are in a relaxed and peaceful state of mind, you are now able to live life with the calm and focus that allows your mind and your body to work at the top of their potential.
So the question is how do you achieve peace of mind from the inside out?
Don’t give away your Peace of Mind.
In order to have lasting peace of mind, you need to transform your thinking.
First, understand that 95% of what we tell ourselves is a meaningless internal dialogue about thoughts that steal your inner peace.
Instead of constantly trying to find more inner peace, try instead, to “not give it away.’
Dalai Lama once said, “Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.”
Think about this – how many times a day, do you give away your inner peace or allow others to destroy it?
When someone drives too fast or too slow leading you to get angry and honk or curse at them, you are giving away your inner peace.
When your co-worker speaks to you in a rude way, and you snap back at them, you are giving away your inner peace.
Even the unavailability of your favorite cup of coffee in the morning has the potential to make you feel deeply unhappy…if you let it.
What if YOU had the ability to retain or maintain YOUR peace of mind no matter what is happening around you.
This ability is a greater ‘awareness’ of your emotions, its connection to your reactive thoughts and how to deal with it in healthier ways.
This is what we call the thought cycle that defines whether we feel bad or great.
Every time you are feeling sad or angry, take a deep breath, exhale and identify the emotion, explore what is causing it, and stop it from stealing your peace.
When you learn to stop the negative dialogue, you can change your mindset to tackle any situation in a healthier way that leads to peace of mind.
When you calm your mind, you have more clarity, and clarity allows you to live at your highest potential, one that will bring you well-being.
Put It into Practice
As the awareness of your emotions matures, you’ll be able to recognize certain habits and patterns that keep repeating in your life and making you feel deeply unhappy.