There’s a certain stigma attached to being single in our culture. This stigma is particularly stronger for women, and as a result, we internalize this standard.
I recently saw the film, The Lobster directed by Yorgos Lanthimos, which illustrates the stereotypical image attached to being single. Life is more exciting, convenient or less lonesome with a partner, is the common phrase. “There must be something wrong with you if you’re still single…”
The film goes on to show how far we’d go just to avoid being alone – getting into a relationship or staying with a partner that may not be right for us, holding off our own needs, and emotionally neglecting ourselves.
Deep down inside, we may acknowledge this, but have difficulties accepting it, and this inability to accept, is the root of our suffering.
So, how do we both acknowledge and accept this? It’s both a macro (society, culture) and micro (self, individual) barrier. We really don’t have much control over the macro issue of breaking the ‘norm’ of what relationship status a person should hold.
However, we can attend to, nurture and mend our inner self, with compassion, understanding and empathy. When we find, listen to and trust our inner voice, we ride the current that was meant for us all along.
Along this path, we find people that value us, for who we are, not who they want us to be.
Most importantly, our own worth, self-love and esteem become impenetrable from outside forces.
Take the steps today, to mend your broken heart, and heal the emotional wounds that are holding you back.
It’s never easy to go through a new journey alone.
Having a support system that understands your pain is crucial, whether that’s a friend, family member or professional.
Nowadays you can even talk to a specialist on your phone or computer.
Till next time my friends ❤
Aurora Kim- Psychotherapist, Writer and Advocate